she said she was living bicuriously through me.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
