Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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