Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
