I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
