i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
