I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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