You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
