It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
