How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
