Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
