Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
