I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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