I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
