she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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