I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize