So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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