i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
