best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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