I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
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I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
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Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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