well I can't set my house on fire every night
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
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