how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
