Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
