hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I DEMAND FORESKIN
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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