its not stalking. its research.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
