I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
