did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
