Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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