Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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