Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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