Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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