Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Randomize
