woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
