is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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