Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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