Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
