That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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