help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
