Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize