Swine flu. Run for my life!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
