She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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