just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
