The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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