So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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