WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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