she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
