They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I did not marry a roomba.
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