I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
