My underwear smells like fireworks.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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