hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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