I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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