I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
