its not stalking. its research.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
