That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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