96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
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that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
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One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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