have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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