it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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