you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
