Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
