i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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