I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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