I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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