i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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