You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
