apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
