Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
