I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
