Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
